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:wave:WELCOME TO The-DA-advice-line:wave:
:iconthe-da-advice-line:

ALL MEMBERS ARE AUTOMATICALLY ACCEPTED.

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submission Rules for the galleries
:bulletpink: you may submit 2 pieces per week.
:bulletpink: they must be submitted to the correct gallery

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We are a group dedicated to helping people in anyway possible

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Advice journals
Do you have a problem that you would like advice for?
Is there something you want to speak out about? Do you desperately want help?, then let us help.
simply tell us all about your problem
:bulletblue:HERE:bulletblue:

Rules for the advice journal
:bulletgreen: you don't need to tell us your name.
:bulletgreen: It can be any problem you wish to speak about
:bulletgreen: you must be ok with your problem being published to a journal
:bulletgreen: other members can comment and give their opinions as well as admins

we will do our best to provide you with the best help possible

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Great Groups like us:
:icondawishingwell:
dAWishingWell is a group specifically created to give back to the dA community by granting dA-related wishes such as premium subs, supergroup status, giving items off of wishlists, point donations, features, DD requests, and more! Do you have a wish? It could come true!

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Avatar made by stuck-in-suburbia

Top Tips



:bulletblue: get a good nights sleep, tiredness will be make you even more nervous and more prone to irritability

:bulletblue: remember your breathing at all times, if you feel yourself start to become more nervous and panicky, take a deep breath in and then out, focussing on this pattern will draw your mind away from what ever is making you nervous.

:bulletblue: talk to someone in the situation you are in, a friend maybe, the person sat next to you, it could distract you.

:bulletblue: remember you aren't the only one who gets nervous so try not to let it scare you and reduce you to a nervous wreck.

:bulletblue: eat or drink something, its no good being nervous on a completely empty stomach or with a dry throat, sip water or have a biscuit or two, it should make the butterflies less intense and help you relax.

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Recent Journal Entries

Advice journal 24
I used to draw cats. And photograph them. And photomanipulate them. I loved making art with cats, domesticated ones, feral ones, wild ones. I loved telling stories, role playing with them and pretending to have my own little cattery. I joined DevArt groups and watch other cat-loving members until "Stephi" came along.

Stephi, like me, drew cats in what I thought was her spare time, and she was pretty good at it. I welcomed her into the cat world. I watched as she started off with a few watchers but grew into a person liked and respected by many Deviants. I drew cats with her, drew breed of cats she created and enjoyed it..until it seemed Stephi went on a power trip.

It started with calling out "unimportant" or unknown cat drawers. I believed her stories about them for a little while, tried to make her feel better and help her through it, until she proceeded to trash talk and bash other cat drawers. I thought she was crossing the line and let her know, but her only response was if I read her journal at all-which felt a little rude to me. I let it go and as drama swept through my cat drawing groups I thought I'd take a break. And that was the turning point.

Stephi decided she didn't want me to draw a design while I was inactive, so I let it go - it was useless drama anyhow. I didn't really take a break though and watched more and more events unfold: To Stephi, any player that drew a cat like her "cats" was copying her. Any player who used a reference was "tracing". Her art was spectacular every group had to add her! And that's around the time I stopped watching her, and her blind followers, and tried to stay in my little corner.

I had a couple of stressful weeks and it took a toll on me even when I came online to DevArt. And then, Stephi's influence made her way into the groups I watched, the so called friends I watched and the people who's artwork I adored. Stephi's cats were nearly everywhere. In all the popular groups, in all the newest pages of the cat subject...just everywhere. And with it came her senseless drama and knocking of other people and how she was the victim in all of it! I couldn't stand it. I wrote a journal. I said I joined DevArt not Stephi-Art that I draw for Cat groups not Stephi groups (as a few groups had banned members because of her personal problems with them..no, I'm not kidding it was a big clicque circus) and of course she wound up attacking my friends, on my page. I finally blocked her and wound up with a slew of her followers calling me conceited telling me I was the problem. So, during a hard day of work, receiving all of the messages, I finally gave up and deactivated my old account.

I later admitted I was wrong for saying "Stephi-art" I shouldn't have said that, and I probably shouldn't have told her to "grow up" and blocked her after (although believe it or not the decision to block her went through my mind when I took her off my watch list) but there was no outright personal attack at her and in no way was I harassing her- I never visited her account. I never sent her notes or comments.

I want to start uploading cats again. I want to role play again. I want to write again. But I don't want Stephi again. I don't want the attacks, the blaming, the irresponsibility of group moderators, the blind followers, the victimizing...I know if I upload another cat she will some how find me. She will probably try to get the last word. And I would discuss things with her, if she acted maturely-but from what I've seen and experienced it doesn't seem possible.

I know more people than myself have experienced this sort of drama on any online community. But I want advice: should I stick to my guns and upload what I love and block those who try to harass me over old issues? Or should I only upload things I like and become part of who I am?

My response

wow okay.
I'll tell you something that I have always been told countless times and that is if you find something you love to do then do it of course as long as its not immoral or illegal. If you honestly love to draw cats then draw them.
Sometimes when people get to a certain point power gets to them, you shouldnt need to put someone down to make yourself stand up, maybe she felt threatened by you or something else but the important thing was you were wise to step back.
Dont blame yourself that you got annoyed and snapped, everyone does it at one point in their life, its completely understandable
But dont stop making art because of a bad incident, do what you love to do, block her straight away if you upload cat art again, thus hopefully avoiding her altogether. But try to put the art first and avoid the places you know she would be, if you really dont want to be anywhere near her. You can start afresh.


Advice journal 25
Okay.. This one is a sad and complicated love thing. okay, so I have three best friends, all boys. I've call them, boy 1, boy 2, and boy 3. I'm dating boy 1. We've been together for almost a year, and it's never affected my best friendship with boy 2 and 3. Until last Valentine's Day. So, the day before Valentine's Day, I had a dream.. about boy 2. Me and him, have always had a complicated relationship. I don't know why, but it made me realize how much I reallllyyy liked him. I do, like, a lot. So, I wasn't very good at hiding it.. and my bf (boy 1) started getting suspicious. So, later in March, I broke up with Boy 1, because I didn't really like him anymore. But we got back together 2 days later.. I don't know, it's weird because he came crawling back to me. But I felt so bad for him that I just couldn't say no. So, I still really like boy 2. But, if I break up with boy 1, it'll not only break his heart, but it'll effect my best friendship with boy 3, since they are like the bffs of the century. So I'm stuck. Help me please? :( I really want to date boy 2! I don't know what to doooo!! :c

My response

There isnt a way to have a magic fix of this, either way you are going to end up hurting someone, first thing You really shouldnt be getting back together with someone if your only getting back together because you feel sorry for him.
you have to be honest, if you no longer have feelings for boy 1 then break up with him, dont stay in a relationship if there is no feelings, you will only end up hurting him and then yourself.
just be honest thats all you can be, dont go sneaking around peoples back because that would be the worst thing possible at the moment.
If boy 3 is your truly your friend then although he could be angry and hurt for boy 1, I'm sure he wouldnt want you to string his friend along. just be honest, no lies. Sure its a really really awkward situation but it is possible to work though it
do you know if your feelings are returned from boy 2, because if not is it really worth the trouble.
If they are returned then you need to be careful and wait at least a couple of weeks after you break up with boy 1 to get together, otherwise it may seem like you dumped boy 1 for boy 2


Advice journal 26
So...
I'm in love with this girl.
(At least I think I am.)
Except she already loves someone else.
She told this person she loves him, but he rejected her. They remain friends to this day.
Except she still loves him.
I haven't known her for all that long.
Maybe about four months.
But god, have I fallen hard for her.
The only thing is...
I'm afraid of admitting this to her.
What if she rejects me?
What if we can't be friends again if she does?
I just don't want to lose her friendship because I love talking to her.
But I'm gonna go crazy if I don't say something to her!
I think about her all the time...
My heart starts beating so quickly and my stomach actually does so many flips that I feel I might be sick most of the time
I just wish I knew what to do...

My response

I'm sorry, its not nice to be in this situation. Get to know her, talk to her. If she is in love with someone else there isnt much you can do about it except be there for her, show her that you care for her too. its ultimately your decision whether you tell her your feelings or not, I cant decide for you, its always a big risk sometimes it pays off sometimes it doesnt. but you need to decide before she decides for you by moving on. whatever you do good luck
More Journal Entries

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Comments


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:iconthatonesmurfx103-9:
thatonesmurfX103-9 Featured By Owner Jun 6, 2014
Hi, I need advice for something :(
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(1 Reply)
:iconilantiis:
iLantiis Featured By Owner Jun 26, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Featured your group here!
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:iconadeleeevee:
AdeleEevee Featured By Owner Jun 23, 2013
Ok so I'm going to a new school next year, but not moving homes. My best friend lives down the street from me and she keeps thinking I'll forget about her. How can I reassure her I won't?
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconadeleeevee:
AdeleEevee Featured By Owner May 30, 2013
Hi, can I have some advice on my situation?

My best friend recently told me that my ex-boyfriend was bi-sexual. However, she doesn't support LGQBT and I do. I don't know what to do and she was trying to get him to "go straight." I told her I can't change what her beliefs are, and what mine are, but I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place as what to do. Help?
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(1 Reply)
:iconewdont:
EwDont Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
This have been bothering for quite a while, I think I just need to say it...

Well, on another art gallery called ColorsLive, people act the complete opposite of how people act on dA. There's tracers who get popular and a lot of unknown artists that deserve to be noticed. You see, I mostly draw my ecchi Sonic characters and post it on there. But people say a lot of mean stuff like "Ewwww, you're character haves big boobs, remove this or I'm flagging you." or "NASTY". I don't get why people act like that on there, it's a 13+ gallery and it's illegal to be under aged of 13 as it say on the Terms of Use, I believe so. They also say it's "porn" when really, my characters are just sexy.

It's just not me, it happens to my good friend, HymnOfDead (doesn't have a dA). She does it more than me, and I feel sorry for her cause she works hard on her drawings and she gets rubbish comments about how her art is "porn", when really it's not. We both get flagged for this most of the time, and it's making me upset. She makes rants about that tells people the difference of porn, ecchi, and nudity. But sometimes people still give her those mean comments.

I want to quit, but most of my friends are on there and they mostly don't have dA... so my question is, should I quit ColorsLive because of this issue?
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(1 Reply)
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